• I don't know what y'all think bartenders do when the bar shuts but it's defo not hanging around at the bar with the cute customer sharing a drink. We've gotta clean that fucker. All the glasses get cleaned. All the stock gets replenished. All the sides get wiped down. It's exhausting.
• Every cellar in a bar looks like a serial killers basement don't @ me (I have asked someone to come with me on 2 occasions when I needed to change a barrel when the electricity wasn't working down there)
• (side note. If its a cellar like, hatch in the floor cellar, there is some solid content there for injuries and whatnot. I have seen people not realise the hatch is open and just,, step into a hole)
• I dress for tips. My managers actively encourages this. A lot of managers at bars are kinda sleazy.
• bartenders fight over who's serving the hot customer through extreme staring and power walking
• Nobody is more attractive than the person who brings their empty glasses back to the bar (ily)
• in the UK it is ILLEGAL to pour someone a triple. You can pour someone a double and a shot on the side and if the customer pours the shot into their double then that's on them, but you as a bartender cannot serve a triple in one glass.
• Its also illegal to have a happy hour but if y'all wanna forget that for a 'I'll make it a happy hour *wink wink nudge nudge*' pun, go feral
• my absolute favourite term in bartending is lizard. If someone orders a round and then at the end is like 'oh and two guinness' absolute lizard behaviour
• someone clicks their fingers to get your attention? Lizard. Also not getting served.
• I love it.
• You don't smell of cologne and fine whiskey after or during a shift. You smell like you've been on a week long alcoholic binge and missed your mouth the entire time. You fuckin reek and require a shower.

BTW, the reason why ordering Guinness last is bad: a proper Guinness needs to be poured most of the way, then given time to settle before pouring the last of it. Usually around a minute and a half.

Otherwise, the Guinness doesn't achieve the distinctive head that it's known for.

So with Guinness having the wait time built in, most bartenders will pour the Guinness first, and do the rest of the orders during the wait, then finish the Guinness. Ordering a Guinness last means they have to drop the drink they're currently making (because they will have started making your order as you speak, especially for a round order) to make the Guinness, or otherwise they will have to wait the minute and half alongside you. Which would really piss them off.

And as an extra note: you can't drink the Guinness immediately after the second pour. You need to wait for the second pour to settle. You'll known it has done this when the brown frothy liquid beneath the head has turned a uniform black.

Source: Brother is a bartender, and I am born, raised and living in Ireland.